Surviving as a single parent
Single parenting is difficult. But difficult doesn’t mean impossible. Michele Ng and Katherine Magsanoc track down four success stories.

ANGEL JACOB, COMMERCIAL MODEL AND TV PERSONALITY, MOM TO 10-YEAR-OLD ARIEL
Angel Jacob is proud to be a single mother.

"I was married 7 years ago, I think. See, I can't even remember," Angel begins, laughing. "Unfortunately, things didn't work out. I filed for annulment a year after we got married."

It wasn't an easy decision. "There were days I thought how sad it would be for the marriage to go to waste," says Angel. "If we separate, what would happen to my little girl?"

But the fights got worse and more frequent. "It dawned on me that I'd rather let Ariel see her parents part ways and be friends rather than stay together and fight all the time," says Angel.

Angel lives with her parents and they helped her through the difficult days following the separation. "I'd be quiet and cry about it, but I knew that I couldn't be like that forever."

Ariel started to ask questions. Why were they living in Lolo and Lola's house? Where was Daddy? For Angel, this was heartbreaking.

"I didn't know how to explain [the separation] to my child but I wanted her to know the truth," Angel says.

Angel's recovery began when the annulment was handed down. She worked very hard and took on the role of an independent single mom. "It's really cool because you're so responsible and there's no heavy feeling, no attachment to something or someone," Angel says, smiling.

For Angel, single parenthood has been tough, but rewarding and exciting. "You don't know what's going to happen next. Your child just grows up so fast," she says, eyes bright with excitement. "But sometimes you cry. You get upset with your child and you fight. Then you feel so alone and wish you had some help."

Even now Angel still looks back. "I'm still learning from the experience. It makes you a better person."

Muster enough guts and tell yourself that you can do it, she says. "If you can't, then your kid has a weakling for a parent."

PLINKY RECTO, TV PERSONALITY AND PILATES EXPERT, MOM TO 8-YEAR-OLD ARMAND
Plinky Recto did everything possible to make her marriage work. When the end came she was unprepared.

"You just have to pick up the pieces and go," says Plinky. "No one is really in total control of his or her life. You just try to do the best you can."

So Plinky did her best. Everyday, she went to work with her baby in tow so she could breastfeed him. "I had to work hard to provide a good future for my child," she says. "Just one of the many things I realized only after the separation. You never see that far into the future, that when the marriage falls apart you'll have to go on with your family by yourself."

Plinky and her estranged husband are now good friends. "Even if we're already separated, I did not deprive him of his right to be with Armand," she explains. "Now their relationship has become even better."

"With Armand, we are parents," Plinky continues. "We may no longer be married but it was important that our child knows and feels what a family is. We attend PTA meetings together, have photos taken of the three of us together."

Says Plinky, "If you fall down, you get up and move on."

JANICE DE BELEN, ACTRESS AND TV PERSONALITY, MOM TO FIVE KIDS
In predominantly Catholic Philippines, there is a certain pressure for couples whose marriage is on the rocks to stay together at all costs "for the sake of the children."

Janice de Belen did not succumb to the pressure because she wanted herself and her kids to be happy. "If you stay together for the sake of the kids, the misery will never end-for you, your husband and your kids," she says.

Because they had five children, Janice hoped they could work out their differences and save their marriage. "You hope that [the situation] is temporary, that he'll [mend his ways eventually]. I was wrong."

For some couples, Janice explains, a temporary separation works, while for others this just widens the gap. "Perhaps the hardest part for me was being kept in the dark, dealing with the lies and the suspicions."

When the time came to let her children know, Janice did not settle for anything less than the truth. "I told them that their father and I decided to separate. One day both of us will find someone we would love and make us happy and that they would have to respect that person whoever he or she may be."

She explained to her children that the marriage simply did not and would not work. "The sooner you tell the children the truth, the sooner their healing process can begin."

After the separation, Janice never got the chance to worry about how to provide for her five children. Offers to host TV shows started coming her way. "God heard my prayers," she says.

Twice bitten, not yet shy, Janice now looks at single parenthood in a very different light.

"[Being a single parent] breaks you up emotionally but then it opens doors to self-discovery," she says. "Constantly remind your children that you love them and that it's not their fault. Eventually, you may think that you did it all by yourself but deep down you know that all the credit belongs to Someone up there."

GREG, 36, DAD TO 12-YEAR-OLD CHESTER
Greg has been performing a balancing act for almost a year now. He is housekeeper, cook, playmate, dad-and mom-to Chester.

A typical weekday begins at 5:15 a.m., when Greg helps Chester prepare for school. By 7:30 a.m., Greg is off to the office; by 6 p.m., he is back home. After helping his son with homework, Greg cooks dinner and does all the necessary household chores.

"I'm usually only able to have a little downtime around 10 p.m.," says Greg. "By then, it's almost time for bed, since we've such an early start!"